Deadly Furniture

Guys…I used to watch American Idol. And I didn’t just watch the first couple of episodes, or just stop in every now and then to see if Simon had killed Paula yet, no I was there for every step of the excruciatingly long process. Of course, over the years it got more and more excruciating and more and more ridiculous while the talent got less and less impressive. Eventually it was easy to drop it out of my weekly tv schedule.

But thanks to Idol, our television schedules have forever been altered. Now it’s all about the reality shows, the copy-cats, the “We can be just as good as Idol, we promise!” shows. (Aside: do you all know that America’s Got Talent is like, the biggest show of the summer?) Into this mix, NBC offers The Voice. And boy, do they want us to watch it. Banners across our weekly Thursday night comedies, extended promos, sneak peaks, website ads. You cannot escape THE VOICE! So, because I can and because of that small part of me that thought that it might be interesting, I watched the pilot episode. The premise (for the few of you who have not been ruthlessly chased down by it) is as follows:

1) Four famous “coaches” (no mean judges here) each pick contestants to join their teams. TWIST: They have their BACKS turned so, unlike the Evil Idol, looks and age don’t matter here.

B) These contestants have been picked by nameless producers so that they all have at least a little talent. TWIST: No awkward dream-crushing here.

Third) If more than one judge picks a contestant, the contestant gets to pick what team they join. TWIST: That’s cool.

IV) In stage 2, contestants battle until each of the coaches get ride of all but four of their team members. TWIST: ….

Five) Then, America votes for THE VOICE from the final sixteen. TWIST: It IS American Idol after all!

So I watched it and, you know what, it wasn’t that bad. Sure, we are sadly subjected to sob stories to the extreme. It’s all in an effort to make us feel for these people, but when all of the thirty-or-so contestants have some horrible back story, it gets old really fast. Maybe this makes me jaded or cold-hearted, but eventually I just want people to sing. And the whole process lacks any organic feeling that I tend to like in my reality shows. There’s a voice-over for everything and things are edited into a neat, little package. Even contestants reactions seem a little: “Oh, I knew you’d all like me, but I’ll pretend that I’m totally shocked at the moment.” At least we don’t get any of the epic tear-fests that American Idol is all about.

But besides that, the coaches all seem to be nice and have a real but cute competition going on. Besides, I like the premise of these contestants having someone fighting for them and, for the first time in their careers, having a real chance. Behind all the promos, there actually does seem to be something refreshingly original about this show. Will I watch another episode? Nah. I’ve been there, done that, seen it, and heard it with singing competitions. But I felt that I needed to know what all the hype was about. In other words, I watched it. Now you guys don’t have to.