12:21 PM

Ctrl

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: , , ,


It’s become increasingly obvious, especially after the arrival and success of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, that a lot of the innovation of the world’s media is happening online, in web series (also see The Guild) and webisodes. I wouldn’t put Ctrl on par with these two leaders in the field; in fact, if not for the combination of boredom and Netflix Instant, there’s a big chance that Elizabeth and I would never have come across this 2009 NBC web series. But, not wanting to go to sleep and stuck in the wasteland that is X-Files season eight, as well as entranced by the opportunity to see Tony Hale in something again (“hey brother”) we found ourselves sailing through the first (and sadly only) season of Ctrl.

After a freak ice tea spill, Stuart Grundy’s (Tony Hale) keyboard bizarrely starts manipulating his workplace reality. Example: By pressing “Ctrl B” Stuart can undo the last thing that happened, such as taking off his glasses, just like life was a computer. The lovable Stuart uses his new powers to finally admit his feelings for fellow employee Elizabeth (Traffic Light’s Emy Coligado) and to gain the upper-hand over his annoying boss Ben (Steve Howey). However, when time travel and Ctrl V get involved, Stuart’s life gets increasingly complicated.

Most episodes range between three and five minutes, meaning the entire ten-episode series took us less time to watch than an hour-long drama. Ctrl’s plot is fun and everything, and the scripting and directing are enjoyable to hear and watch, but the real and obvious star here is Hale. He steals every and any scene that he’s a part of in any show or series. More of a commanding and smart figure here than his Buster character in Arrested Development, Hale is still hilarious and still lovable.

Maybe Ctrl is no Dr. Horrible or The Guild, but it is a cute diversion when you want something short and sweet. (Kinda like this blog post…)

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10:26 PM

Brothers to the End

Posted by Elizabeth | Labels: ,


It isn’t often that we spend a weekend playing a first person shooter game staring two very large, bulky, muscular male characters. Although these types of games are innovative and ground-breaking in their own right, we tend towards the story and character-driven masterpieces of Bioware (not that we’re biased or anything.  Look for our DragonAge 2 review in the near future.)  But Gears of War is one of those trilogies that you hear about when you’re on the interwebs, so when we found the opportunity to borrow the first two games in the series, we bunkered down for the weekend and marathoned us some chainsaw-shotgun-ARGS-REVIVE ME!-action.

Basic plot (as we, and Wikipedia, understand it): Humanity, colonizing the galaxy in search of an illusive energy source called Imulsion, greatly angered the ingenious species of Sera.  But Avatar, this ain’t.  The Locusts are pretty horrific and have more than basically almost caused the extinction of the human race.  This is where you step in, or rather Marcus “Ugly Face” Fenix.  A war hero that was disgraced and imprisoned after fleeing his post to try to save his father, You/Marcus “I’m Too Cool To Spell My Name Right” Fenix is rescued by his best friend Dom “I’m Way Hotter Than Marcus” Santiago.  Together, Marcus and Dom cut-up moon worms (not actually from the moon), ride the troll from Fellowship of the Ring, and chainsaw some troubled souls, all in the name of COG--the last human government left on the poor, war-torn planet that’s not Earth but kinda is.

Although this is all relatively linear and, try as we might, we couldn’t add RPG elements like make our characters comfort each other or stop separating from each other when obviously bad stuff was waiting for us just around the dark and evil-looking corner. But, despite these shooter faults, we found ourselves quickly involved in the lives and non-epic concerns of two men facing a war so much bigger than they are.  This, as well as the game play, becomes even more evident in Gears of War 2 than in its predecessor.  In all ways, Gears of War 2 steps up the action and the awesomeness.  Where Gears of War has an  “Oh, he might die.  That would be sad.” feeling about it, Gears of War 2 has a “This is going to end in tears. Don’t look Dom!  DON’T LOOK!!!!” Perfect example: Dom is just supposed to be your plucky sidekick who has some good one-liners, revives you when you’re fallen (or, Rebecca will admit it, the other way around when she’s playing Dom), and just basically has Fenix’s back.  But in Gears of War 2 he’s given a storyline that is pretty darn heartbreaking. War is never easy, victory is never clear-cut, and you’re made to feel the weight of each choice made in the heat of battle.

The thing that Gears of War is known for is its epic cover mechanic.  Cover mechanic, we hear you say?  That’s just squatting behind chest-high walls and waiting for the Locust-who-aren’t-actually-bugs to reload so you can shoot them. But believe it or not, the cover mechanic makes you feel like a bamf.  As you run and shoot and dive and roll, you know you look awesome.  You feel awesome.  You are awesome.  Other games rely on nine-foot swords, giant oozies, and fire magic from the sky to make you feel big and important. Gears of War relies on the perfect switch from cover, to gun, to melee, to cover again.  Sure--the game has great effects, some pretty awesome bad guys, but the cover mechanic man.  You just don’t know.  You weren’t there.  But you should be.  Play this game. You’d like it.  And afterwards, watch this trailer.  ’Cause Gears of War 3 is going to be awesome (now with 100% more chicks!).

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7:18 PM

"Seeing Red" or "Oceans Five"

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Sometimes studios get the wonderful idea to throw together some really talented, famous, and well-liked actors and have them say lines from a script that somebody wrote. In the case of Red, the script came from a graphic novel (which, if I remember correctly, fans claimed the film butchered. But I haven’t read it so…) and the actors are Bruce Willis (he was in Armageddon), Dame Helen Mirren (she’s cool), Morgan “Fox” Freeman, John Melkovich (stuffs), and Brian Cox (aka Agamemnon). The before-mentioned names all play retired agents who realize that they’re being hunted down and must therefore un-retire. Hijinks ensue.

Rounding out the cast is Karl “Eomer” Urban as the bad guy. Urban never feels like a big threat however because you don’t cast Karl “Bones” Urban to be the “I’m a twisted, unsaveable villain who must die before the end of this movie.” You cast him as the hot and sympathetic family man that makes the audience say, “Oh can’t these peeps just get along?” Then there’s Mr. Holland, a guest appearance by Jeffrey Spender, and, the real problem of the movie, Mary-Louise Parker. Oh Mary Louise, why do I dislike you so? Perhaps it’s because of your lack of expression, perhaps it’s because you ruined the perfection that was The West Wing season three, or perhaps it’s because you are just really unlikable. To be honest, as soon as I saw her name in the opening credits I was more than a little tempted to turn the thing off and therefore avoid the whole having to watch her not-act thing, but her name came after everyone else’s so I thought she would be a bit part.

She wasn’t. In fact, she get’s into some sort of chemistry-less relationship with Willis’s character which means that she gets a lot, a lot, a lot of screen time. By halfway through I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry until she left. And she did leave, actually, for the best twenty minutes of the entire film. I have to ask myself, because I do, if I would have liked the relationship better if it hadn’t been Mary-Louise Parker and I doubt it. In some strange, yet fundamental way, the relationship just doesn’t work (character inconsistency baring most of the blame). Fear not, however, because Dame Helen Mirren is here and her story is by far the more interesting and more sweet.

But all joking and Mary Louise hating aside, the film was somewhat of a let-down. I guess I was hoping that it would be another Oceans 11, a trilogy that I love even though apparently I’m not supposed to. Where George Clooney keeps his movie going at a quick pace, Red seems to take forever to introduce the main characters and get them all together. It took over an hour for Helen Mirren to grace the screen which is itself a crime. I wanted the film to deserve these big names and I wanted to feel like these lords and lady of filmmaking had to at least put a little effort into their roles. But it was obvious that they didn’t; that all of them could have done this in their sleep. Believe it or not, the person that may have had to do the most acting was Julian McMahon (that guy from Nip/Tuck and Charmed). I know. Shocker.

So I guess I don’t know what to tell you about this one. There’s nothing memorable about it, and it depends too much on its big names to carry the day. But they are still big names and they are still fun to watch on screen. For all the Mary-Louise Parker there is a little bit of Helen Mirren. Red is a distraction, a nice two-hours that you can talk over with friends, but I don’t think that it’s anything more.

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2:11 PM

Nostalgia

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The other day, as Elizabeth and I watched the 1985 classic Witness, I couldn’t help but hear my father’s voice over entire scenes of Harrison Ford’s thriller: “Look what she does here---she fills his glass first,” “She how the Amish almost seem to rise-up out of the land,” “Now this is foreshadowing” and, of course, “Be careful out among the English.” I remember the nights when my dad would watch it for some reason or another and would let us all watch the barn raising scene, a scene that I believe I have watched more than any other in cinematic history. By the time I got around to watching the movie in its entirety, I already knew the entire basic plot because my father loved to tell it so much.


So as I watched it with Elizabeth, I couldn’t help but hold my breath during the barn raising scene and wait in anticipation for the epic closing shot. When it became pretty obvious that Elizabeth was not having the same feelings about Witness that I was, I was more than a little shocked. The first thought in my head was “How DARE she!?” followed by “I should never have shown her this movie.” She asked me if, had my father never loved this movie and if I had never seen it before, would I still have liked it now? And maybe I wouldn’t have. Maybe there are faults to the thing and maybe Harrison Ford really only does have three expressions (BTW: His role in Witness was his first and only Oscar nomination.) But for me, I can’t separate Witness from my memories and I wouldn’t want to.

In the end, perhaps most of the movies and books we read and loved as children quickly become a part of our nostalgia, a part of our lives that we never want to have tarnished or forgotten. We love them because of who we were or where we were at the time and therefore protect them as a piece of our history. Take, for example, the BBC version of C.S Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia. Looking back at them now, they suck. A lot. The acting is atrocious, the adaptation too literal, and Aslan is some strange puppet/electronic thing that can barely open its mouth.But as a child, I couldn’t help but love those movies to death. Each Friday, my siblings and I would walk to Calvin College’s audio and electronic or something department and my dad would check us out a new one. I swear we just rotated them out for each other. (To be fair, however, we all knew from the very beginning that the Lucy actress was horrific. We still say “A badger, I’d love to see a badger!“ whenever anything Narnia-related comes up in conversation.) Even after all these years, when we saw Walden Media’s superior The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, we all hoped to hear BBC’s old Narnia theme somewhere in the soundtrack.

The same can be said for an odd-assortment of Canadian or American children’s television shows. My grandmother lived in Toronto and, whenever we went to visit her, there were always a strange assortment of shows that we didn’t get at home waiting for us on her television.
Take for example, Zoobilee Zoo. Besides having perhaps the most fantastic opening sequence of anything that has ever come before or since, it’s basically about a bunch of grown-ups dressed up as animals doing stuff. The plots are somewhat of a distant memory, but that song tune is forever ingrained in my head (my older siblings could probably sing it to you, word for word, right now). The same can be said for The Polka Dot Door, Inspector Gadget, or Sharon Lois & Bram’s Elephant Show (famous for the song “Shinnamarink.” And yes, I can so do all the hand motions). Do these shows now look outdated if not somewhat disturbing? Maybe, but for me they still bring up memories of sitting around in Grammy’s house as she cooked something in the kitchen down the hall. Pretty soon, she’d call us to breakfast and we’d all run back and sneak around to our spots at the table and laugh and talk and laugh some more. In the end, these nostalgic parts of our past connect us to moments of time that are gone and people that we love who we’ve lost.

Movie to Watch: Witness. I swear it’s good.

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10:56 AM

Breaking Day

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: , , ,

Most disaster movies begin with the first signs of a zombie/plague/vampire/alien apocalypse and then work their way forwards. How will this small band of unlikely heroes fight against impending disaster and avoid becoming their worst nightmares? Daybreakers starts after the human resistance has, for all intents and purposes, lost. A vampire plague has swept through the world’s population, turning everyone into immortal yellow-eyed blood eaters. The small population of humans that remain mostly exist in “farms” where their cardiovascular systems are pumped for vampire food.


I like my vampire’s non-sparkly and traditional and, for the most part, Daybreakers sticks with tradition. The world’s population has changed to account for the new “args! THE SUN!!!” factor, by becoming nocturnal and cutting wood out of their décor. They've organized themselves, however, into the same society that existed before the epidemic proving that boring saying that the more things change, the more they stay the same. There are still senators, still those who have and those who have not. Our hero Edward (the name similarity is not lost on me) is a vampire businessman whose evening commute involves a subway ride and a cup of blood coffee. The opening sequence showing this new normal is the film at its best and most interesting.

To say it goes downhill from there gives the film some disservice. The problem is that after an interesting beginning and set-up, the film gets pretty predictable. When our vampire hero expresses some doubt and guilt about how things are turning out, you pretty much know who he’s going to unexpectedly run into. The dwindling blood supply can’t mean anything good, and the possibility of a cure (I know--the story’s one betrayal of traditional vampirism) propels the story forward to its second half.

Take away the story and the characters and just look at the film itself and it’s pretty visually stunning. I know that I’m a sucker for movies that have the crisp black and gray shades and the futuristic feel about it all--but Daybreakers is just more interesting to look at then something like, say, the Swedish vampire movie Let the Right One In. It has the long shots with no dialogue as cult-favorite Let does, but it also has just more to look at (the skyline of futuristic New York City for example) then a snow covered bridge. What makes this all even more interesting is when night becomes day, as it tends to, the black, grays, and reds of the vampire world are replaced with warm browns and yellows of a human world. Revolutionary, no. Obvious, yes…but pretty cool.

The supporting cast includes the like of Willem Dafoe (or the Green Goblin, which is what I called him for the majority of the film), a woman who really looks like the Jean Grey actress, and Sam Neill (also known as the man who elevates any movie or television show he’s in. See also The Tudors). Ethan Hawke (Edward) remarkably lets himself be less than attractive for a great portion of this film (we should give him props for that) and only makes about ten really stupid decisions (we should give him props for that too.) Some of these characters, Neill for example, even have some interesting, if not predictable, character moments.

In the end, there’s nothing spectacularly wonderful about Daybreakers. The less-then-stellar special effects are mainly hidden behind that alluring, crisp black look. The story gets both predictable and uninteresting towards the end. The acting (besides Neill) is so-so. The message (you know, the whole immortality is a problem thing) isn’t done too well. But at least it’s a vampire film that brings back real vampirism and creates an interesting world. Will I watch it again? No. But hey, I watched the whole thing once.

Show to Watch: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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4:16 PM

Gray Oleander

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: , , ,

As I’ve been making my way through Netflix’s entire instant streaming collection, there’s been some duds--The Good German, for example. I lasted a grand total of twenty-two minutes before the pretentious boringness of chemistry-less cast and gimmicky direction finally drove me mad and to reruns of Community. (Besides, between you and me, I skipped to the ending and it is not at all like the book, which I have actually read. If you‘re going to adapt a book, at least keep the overall story and message of the book consistent.) When I scrolled past White Oleander, I had a feeling that I was in for another The Good German but for some reason, perhaps because my memory seemed to tell me that in some distant past it had actually gotten some buzz or perhaps because the lead actress (Alison Lohman) is from Matchstick Men (which I love) I watched it.

The basic plot follows Astrid, a teenage girl whose somewhat crazy mother (played by Michelle Pfeiffer in a role that, IMDB says, almost got her perhaps nominated for some sort of award) kills her boyfriend sending her to jail and her daughter (Lohman) to a series of foster homes and mother figures. There’s Robin Wright (doing a great January Jones impression), Renee Zellweger (sigh), and Woman-Who-Isn’t-On-The-Poster (but has an accent). All of this plot, however, has to be soaked in as much gray melodrama as possible. Voice-overs, flashbacks, long shots of white oleanders, symbolic lack of eggs in the fridge, you name your melodramatic pet peeve (mine happens to be the egg thing) and White Oleander has it. This gets annoying alarmingly fast to the point that, halfway through the first act, I was making up inner-head dialogue for most of the main characters. “I will hold this snow globe because it reminds me of my soon-to-be arrested mother.” “See this tear. I mean this tear. This tear will win me an Oscar nomination. Maybe.” “I don’t know who I am therefore I will stare into your EYES!”

As far as acting goes, Wright, Zellweger and Isn’t-On-The-Poster mainly just play characterizations, lacking any real-depth or screen time to make a lasting impact. Billy Connolly only made me think of “The BLACK SPOT!” and Noah Wyle’s casting was more distracting (it‘s that guy from The Librarian!) than anything else. Michelle Pfeiffer makes sure that we all know that she’s acting and acting hard. As far as Astrid, I couldn’t figure out, and I still can’t figure out, if I didn’t/don’t like her because of poor character development, because she was unlikable, or because of bad acting. In each new foster home that Astrid finds herself in, she changes her look and personality to match which is interesting and all, but in the end there is no consistent Astrid to critique or feel sympathetic towards. She picks to go to Isn’t-On-The-Poster’s trashy home instead of a nice, suburban foster home for some unexplained reason which made me finally just decide that Astrid was stupid.

I’m often to harsh on movies and make judgments too early on that then completely ruin a film’s chances to win me back. But I can’t believe that this film would be reviewed as well as it was overall, and it comes as no surprise to me that the director has done little to nothing interesting since. Don’t watch it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go check if there are eggs in the fridge. If there aren’t, that would be the Worst. Thing. Ever.

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11:20 AM

Escaping High School

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Most of my high school career is a big, black ball of nothing. Without getting into the gory details, what I haven’t repressed my bad memory has mostly taken care of. It was mostly horrible and was really close to being completely horrible. What makes it even worse, however, is that movies and television shows had taught me that high school was supposed to be the best time of my life. Sure I was going to go through some drama, but I was going to come out on top with the cute nerd whose actually really cool and popular holding my hand. My friends would have fights, but it would only strengthen our friendship and the whole movie would end with the before-mentioned hot guy and I sharing a perfect, romantic kiss as a pop song played in the background.

Let me put it another way. My high school career coincided with The OC when it was at its most popular. These were the days that on Wednesdays, or Tuesdays, or whatever day the show was on, I couldn’t walk into a classroom without seeing the blackboard decorated by my peers in such a way to remind me that the best show that has ever or will ever be had a new episode that night. I’ll admit it. I watched the show. And I have four seasons of the The OC on DVD back in my room in Michigan. In my defense, I watched the show before it was the popular thing to do and stopped as soon as it got strange and boring. Being the young, romantic, idealist I was, I thought for sure that my high school experience was going to be exactly like that of Ryan, Marissa, Seth, and….crap…what’s her name? Rachel Bilson’s character. Needless to say, it wasn’t.

So maybe I felt betrayed by The OC or maybe I grew up, but television shows and movies that are set in high school have never interested me since. (I don’t count Buffy the Vampire Slayer in this line because every rule has its exception and Joss Whedon can do no wrong. Except Dollhouse. Which just proves the before mentioned rule.) Those old 80’s films are just clichés, and I’m too old and to out-of-college to relate to something like say Hellcats (the pilot of which I lasted twenty minutes of). Besides, doesn’t it bother anyone else that anyone who acts in a high school movie/tv show is obviously in their early twenties? So, when someone who goes unremembered (sorry) told me to watch Easy A, I was pretty skeptical.

The movie centers around Olive (played by future Spiderman leading-lady Emma Stone) who for not-very complicated reasons eventually pretends to be the school slut. Eventually, however, she realizes that being the Hester of her school has some fallbacks. Also making appearances are Thomas Haden Church in, I am ashamed to admit, perhaps the only non-Spiderman role I’ve seen him in; Dan from Gossip Girl because he’s hip and hot; Amanda Bynes because what’s a movie like this without her; Fred Armisen because; and Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson as perhaps the most awesome on-screen parents that have ever graced a movie set.

Far from being a movie for high schoolers, this is a movie for me. For those of, dare I say it, The OC generation. We’ve long past left the halls of our far-less-attractive schools behind, and, although we (as a collective, not me as an individual) are now nostalgic for those times gone by, we still have a sense of anger/resentment or “I’m too old for this” about movies set in high school. Olive even points this out and promises that this isn’t your average movie about high school (which it kinda is but not really. I’ll let it go.) At one point in the film, there’s actually a montage of all those old movies that only our generation would really know about. I swear my younger sister would be utterly confused for that entire scene. The script and the director puts a lampshade on almost every scene, making sure that the audience realizes that they know they’re making a movie set in high school.

Easy A is funny and at times even hilarious (see the before mentioned note about Tucci and Clarkson). It’s a movie that’s supposed to appeal to me and it does. I don’t think that I wasted an hour and a half of my life and, if I were richer, I may even eventually buy a copy of it. Maybe. Perhaps. Any real fault I find in it can almost certainly be traced back to what happened being that big, black ball of repressed nothing. So, for those who will admit to being a part of The OC generation and even for those who will never admit that they know where Ryan and Marissa had their first kiss (you are welcome for the link) watch Easy A.

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10:55 PM

I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Posted by Elizabeth | Labels: , , , , , , , , ,



You’ve been there. You’re at a party, someone says something outrageous, and before you can clamp the imaginary hand over your mouth, you say, “Inconceivable!” Before you know it, you’ve started off a chain of Princess Bride quoting and nostalgia. After about three hours of this, you being to sympathize with Oppenheimer and think--“What have I done?” The truth of the matter is that mass media has forever tainted words and phrases, forcing your mind to make the connection almost against your will. This is our ever growing list of words we can’t say.

“Run” Glee may have little to no artistic value, but damn can it churn out a catchy cover. In the episode “Bad Reputation,” several of the characters try act differently than they usually do (you know, in their previous, totally consistent characterizations). For some reason, this involves singing a terrible, terrible hit from 1975--“Run, Joey, Run.” But now in the Schmitfer house, every time someone says “run,” this song must immediately be sung. Mulder’s getting backed into a dark alley by Krycek? “Run, Mulder, run!” Low on Hit Points in a video game? “Run, Shepard, run!” Accidentally turn on an episode of Glee? “Run, everyone, run!”

“Eagle” This one can be really annoying--especially because it’s one of those references that a lot of people may not know. Zach Braff’s “Eeeeeagle” can ruin a movie (like the new Channing Tatum movie that we weren’t planning to see but we could never actually see because every time they said “Eagle!” we would laugh), a scientific discussion about our national bird, or a car trip when one happens to see a bird out of the window that could possibly look a little bit like an eagle. We have yet to go the distance and actually do the Turk and JD routine, but it’s probably one of the greatest running gags on Scrubs.

“Maybe” As indecisive people, we say “maybe” a lot. And every time, this excellent Flight of the Conchords song must be sung.

“We’ll do that!”  from one of the greatest Star Trek films ever made, Galaxy Quest. This narrowly beats out, “Miners, not minors!”--what can we say, it’s a quotable film. But for sheer frequency, “We’ll do that!” wins. We say it any time we make a plan…or decide what to have for dinner.

“Delete” “Exterminate” “Assimilate” Damn Daleks, Cybermen, and Borg. If you guys ever got together, you could rule the world. And our vocabulary.

“3PO?!? Where could he be?!?!?!?” Ah, the dulcet whine of Luck Skywalker. This phrase has only increased in usage after Elizabeth named her Droid Incredible “C-3P0.” Whenever he gets lost, out pops an inevitable Mark Hamill impression. (BTW, yes, we name our inanimate objects. Deal with it.)

“Would You Kindly” Just the mention of this phrase gives us the shivers. We wouldn’t dare spoil this for anyone who hasn’t played the game, but Bioshock will forever ruin this phrase. And 50s music.

“…in the world.” Oh, Jeremy Clarkson. Need to comically overemphasize the greatness of something you love? Just tack on this phrase to your favorite superlative, and you’re good to go.

“Stop.  Pooping.” From Parks & Recreation’s “The Flu.” Now, whenever we look at Rob Lowe, that line is all that we can hear. This should make for interesting future West Wing viewing. “Mr. President: Stop. Pooping.”

“Blondie.” What’s wrong with a mildly amusing strip from the Sunday funnies, you ask? Oh, no, no, no. Every time we hear it, we think “Kiss me, James” from the Lost finale. It makes us cry. Every single time. Curse you Darlton.

“Doctor!” No, not a physician, THE Doctor. This moment in Doctor Who history lives in all fans heart as the time when John Barrowman could just not keep a straight face. The over-the-top ending to an otherwise pretty excellent season is more then a little groan-worthy, and tarnishes perhaps the best acting David Tennant does in the entire series five minutes later. The fact that Barrowman must have thought the same makes us smile every time the word comes up. BARROWMAN!!!

Bonus Word: Epidemic. ’Nuff said.

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10:17 AM

Traffic Light

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Considering the amount of new television shows that magically start airing on television, I would have completely missed Traffic Light if my favorite blog hadn’t reviewed it. I don’t usually watch FOX, now that I’ve stopped watching Glee, and I haven’t really been paying attention to mid-season shows (with the exception of Parks & Recreation). But it got reviewed, I’m in the midst of “funemployment,” and I thought, what the heck? It could be the next Arrested Development and I could say I watched it back when no one else did.

Fueled by this chance to be in front of the fan base for once, I’ve watched all five episodes to date. The story centers around three close friends all at different points in relationships. David Denham’s Mike is married with child, Nelson Franklin’s Adam just moved in with his girlfriend, and Kris Marshall’s (that guy from Love Actually--right, the part you don’t really watch) lives with his dog and has a new girl every episode. He’s basically the fun single guy in a group of five friends (hey…why does this sound familiar?)

So I’ve seen five episodes and last night, and as closed the browser tab on the Hulu link, I finally asked myself if this was something that I wanted to be at the front of the fan base of. Sure, the series has its good moments. The relationship between Mike and his wife Lisa (played by Liza Lapira) isn’t always the typical comedic marriage. Sometimes Mike is actually allowed to be in the right and the couple has some chemistry that makes you believe that they would actually marry each other. Adam has that sarcastic sense of humor that’s totally in right now and Ethan is British. But there’s nothing within these plot lines and characters that really make me care. By five episodes in, I know that nothing terribly drastic or unexpected is going to happen anytime soon. They aren’t going to throw in a divorce, Adam will survive if he breaks up with his girlfriend, and even if Ethan ever enters a long-term relationship, we’ve all seen that plotline many times before.

Add to this the fact that the show’s writers seem to be able to write, at max, one good storyline an episode. There’s usually three arcs going on at once, and although Plot A is usually pretty solid, Plot B and especially Plot C are usually pretty blah. Plot C could even be called Plot Ethan. Perhaps because he’s the most stock-character of them all, Ethan gets the most familiar, and thus boring, of storylines. It almost seems that sometimes the writers think, “Oh! He’s British! Let’s just have him talk Britishly! Storyline written!” and then pat themselves on the back for a job avoided. Although one good plot can cover many faults, it doesn’t take more than a couple of episodes for viewers to wise up and see the Ethan.

Traffic Light has its funny moments, it may even have a couple of hilarious moments, but there is nothing new or fresh about it. Instead of the step forward that I wanted the show to be, its quietly settling into the predictable and mainstream. It is far from the unexpected brilliance of Arrested Development, and its understated humor doesn’t come close to Flight of the Conchords. It’s a fine show, it may even be a better than average show, but with so many other comedies out there, and with so many more original and exciting characters, I’m pretty sure that I won’t be starting a fan page anytime soon.

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1:38 PM

Square One

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Every year or so, I suddenly get the urge to watch Scrubs. When and why this happens is unexplainable, but in any case I’ve been watching a lot of it the last couple of days. And, as I’ve been skipping around from season to season to episodes that I don’t remember that well, I realized how much I wish I could watch the entire series over again for the first time. When it originally aired on television, I would watch an episode here or there, or I may even have tuned in for a couple of weeks running. But my Scrubs watching was sporadic to say the least. Even when I started to watch it through on DVD, I inevitably ran into a patch of episodes I had seen, got bored, and stopped.


Looking back on it, Scrubs deserved better from me, a television viewer. Sure, it’s far from the best show in history. The insecurities of Elliot and her annoying boyfriends get boring and may or may not make you nauseas. Jordan has more bad moments than good, Carla get’s a little controlling, and sometimes you just wish that J.D and Turk would spin-off onto a different show. But the series can surprise you. What Scrubs is good at, and which gets perfected in later series (like Community) is showing that sometimes you can’t have comedy without a little bit of tragedy. For example, I will always remember The Fray’s “How To Save a Life” not for the Grey’s Anatomy moment, but for that great scene when Cox almost gives up on medicine. The series finale (that is the real finale. I have chosen to believe that that one season when Sacred Heart was a strange med school didn’t actually happen) was beautiful and poignant for all the right reasons.

The same goes for Alias. I think I missed the majority of the first season, and then expected that if I started the second season I would eventually figure it all out. I kept hoping that this would happen for the rest of the series. Add to this the fact that I think I may have missed quite a few episodes here and there, and that this was in the days before I had a DVR, Netflix, or easy access to the Internet, and you eventually get to a finale that I mostly got but not really. To be fair to me, however, I think that there are more than a couple of problems with the series as a whole and J.J obviously could have used a little Darlton help. Although I believe a show should challenge and surprise, a show should never be a mess of confusing names and impossible mythology that, let‘s just admit it, doesn‘t actually work. I knew enough about the characters to be more than a little disappointed at what they all became by the last season. All this being said, I know my experience with the series would be better if I could go back and watch more of that first season, and I know I would have loved the series instead of just liking it.

As I was running through the before-mentioned clips of Scrubs, I took a break to look at clips of Gillian Anderson, X-Files, and David “I-Never-Look-Ugly-Even-When-I’m-Crying” Duchovny winning Golden Globes, SAGS, and Emmys. Hearing the nominees for each category, I was shocked at how few of these 90’s actresses/actors I knew and also about how many of the nominations were for E.R. Although I think we can all admit that E.R was dead long before it was given a proper funeral, I think that what it became has overshadowed those first seasons when it was actually really good. E.R is another one of those shows that I caught every so often, and I actually have no memory of the first two seasons. But believe it or not, this is where George Clooney really made his first mark on the entertainment business and this is where Julianna Margulies spent all that time before she showed up on The Good Wife. The show quickly went downhill after Clooney, Margulies, Anthony Edwards, and eventually Noah Wyle left the series, but when they all existed all the screen at the same time, there were some incredible episodes. Season six’s two-parter “Be Still My Heart” and “All in the Family,” for example, still ranks up there as some of the greatest episodes of television I’ve ever watched. That, and I still can’t hear “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” without crying.

Lost/Firefly/BattlestarGalactica/Doctor Who/The West Wing. I admit that these are all cheats. I’ve seen every episode, loved all of them* and count them all as my collective favorite television series of all time. It’s not that I regret watching them when I did, but more that I wish that I could have all those moments of shock, awe, horror, surprise, etc. back again. I don’t want to know anything about the Island, want to believe that more episodes of Firefly will eventually happen, agonize over the identity of the Final Five (I swear--it’s the ship.), cry for the entire last portion of “Doomsday,” and smile at the brilliance of Aaron Sorkin. I want the experience of watching these shows for the first time back again.

*Jack goes on vacation, “Black Market,” “Daleks of Manhattan,” and the latter portion of The West Wing being the exception that proves the rule. Firefly, however, is perfect…except for the lack of more episodes.

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10:48 AM

Diary of a Madman

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This past weekend, we both went to see Geoffrey Rush in "Diary of a Madman." Although a full review may, eventually, fill this spot when we both get together and have time to write it, it is enough at the moment to say that we both loved it, loved Geoffrey Rush, and loved the entire experience of being in a theater in New York City.


More, perhaps, to follow.

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6:19 PM

The Search For A New Franchise

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After the success of Pirates of the Caribbean, it was inevitable that something would come along that would try to capitalize on Johnny Depp’s success. Enter Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. It has the whole swashbuckling, adventure, PG-13 appeal that audiences loved in POTC…at least the Black Pearl. But, as one would very much expect, it hardly lives up to it’s half-brother.


The story, basically, is that as a young child Aladdin…err…Dastan (played by Jake Gyllenhaal) does some fancy moves escaping from some guards (you know, one jump ahead…) and is rewarded by becoming a prince of Persia. He grows up into his ruggedly handsome, yet still Caucasian self, finds a dagger that rewinds a minute of time, picks up an annoying princess, and gets framed for his father’s murder. It was a long day. He then has to avenge his father, fall in love with the annoying princess, stop Armageddon, and stay Caucasian for the rest of the movie. It’s a long movie.

The problems are outstandingly long
and not-very complicated. The banter between Aladdin and Annoying Princess does not involve one little bit of chemistry or humor or real writing. There is no stirring musical score by Klaus Badelt (Sorry Harry Gregson-Williams. I don’t blame you.) The special effects seem created to just sorta pass themselves off as authentic. Ben Kingsley is forced to play yet another villain. The movie gets pretty boring near the middle part when everything stops so our characters can tell us a couple of really long stories in which the barely-passable special effects kick into as much drive as they have. Basically--the movie doesn’t have a Jack Sparrow and it suffers mightily for it.

I haven’t actually placed the Prince of Persia video games, but I’ve watched my brother play the second one. It seemed/seems to me that the joy of the game is in figuring out a way to get across a collapsing corridor or use the knife in an exciting way. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its cinematic moments (I remember thinking it was pretty exciting), but the story was sometimes the means to awesome fighting. It reminds me of the Assassins Creed video games that way. There’s a pretty cool story behind everything, but some of the best parts of it are the cool swordplay/jumping/swinging parts. All this is to say that a lot of the excitement of the game is lost when it’s transferred to the screen. There’s something far less fun and exciting about watching Jake Gyllenhaal run around and figure things rather than you as a video game player.

By about an hour into the film, I had pretty much reached a “blah blah stuff is happening wait is that an ostrich?” mindset. I was pretty sure that Aladdin was going to win the day and kiss Annoying Princess and had long since given up hope that Johnny Depp was going to make a guest, surprise appearance. So I did what I always do when I felt obligated to at least finish the movie--I played Tetris.

Movie To Watch: X-Files: Fight the Future. Seriously. It’s epic.

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1:46 PM

Five Reasons

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I give up on books more than I should. Something usually irritates me within the first fifty pages (common problems: use of a second person narrator, boring subject matter, pretentious language, television marathon) and the book goes back onto my bookshelf, usually with a bookmark fifty pages in marking my failure. But I hardly ever give up on a book once I pass the magical “fifty page” mark. I figure that if I’ve devoted so much time into a book, I may as well finish the thing. But now, 302 pages into JONATHAN FRANZEN’S Freedom, I find myself looking at the empty place on the bookshelf and thinking about abandoning the book and its remaining 260 pages. But this is a MASTERPIECE a NEW YORK TIME’S BESTSELLER a TRIUMPH a YADA YADA YADA! How dare I? My reasons are as follows:

1. THE MESSSAGE: I hate books that shove the message down your throat over and over and over again until the very title makes you want to gag. By a couple of seventy-two page chapters into FRANZEN’S Freedom, the message is pretty clear. Freedom isn’t everything. In fact, too much freedom can destroy a family. FRANZEN basically has one of his characters scream the message, but we are left to be frequently reminded of it every couple of pages or so. It gets old. Fast.

2. THE CHARACTERS: Every chapter follows a different unlikable character after a different unlikable character. At page 302 I’ve just reached the last remaining good, likable character’s first time as the center of the narration and I’m already beginning to hate him.

3: EVERYTHING AND THE SOAPBOX: Besides the whole “Freedom can be bad for you” message, FRANZEN takes the opportunity throughout the book to bring in as many other hot-topic issues as he possibly can. Religion, politics, drugs, environmentalism. It quickly begins to seem that the reader is being preached to. This is annoying. Very annoying.

4. NO END IN SIGHT: The chapters are long, okay? Really, really long. There are no breaks from the preaching, message shoving, unlikable characters. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve paged forward looking for the magical chapter break only to find its another one hundred pages or so. I then almost cry out of complete and utter despair. This is an entirely rational complaint.

5. STUCK: I can’t read more than ten pages at a time without throwing the book to the side, opening my computer, and reading blogs for twenty minutes. At this rate, it will take me until July to finish the thing.

The book is still on the table by the futon. I’m not giving up yet. But I really wish that I was.

Books to Read: Anything. Else.

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