12:07 PM

Mildred Pierce

Posted by Elizabeth | Labels: , ,


In the United States, HBO dominates the miniseries category. From Angels in America to Band of Brothers, from John Adams to Temple Grandin, award seasons have gotten a tad dull. HBO always wins. So, to be fully informed viewers, and mainly because of the draw of the incredible, “I want to be her when I grow up” Kate Winslet, we watched the HBO mini-series of the year: Mildred Pierce.

From the opening montage of Mildred’s fabulous 1930s kitchen, Mildred Pierce is a period feast for the eyes. In other words, it’s really pretty, and you should expect to see Elizabeth in depression-era house frocks from now on. Also expect Rebecca to be demanding pies from every visitor. But of course we expect that from HBO—they’re masters of setting and ambiance.

And as you’d also expect from an HBO miniseries, the acting is top notch. These are the people that got Sean Bean for Game of Thrones and Paul Giamatti for John Adams. Because they’re so successful, HBO can get the cream of the acting crop—especially when even a minor, bland supporting role will garner you an Emmy nomination (we’re looking at you Melissa Leo!).  

But having said all of this, we can honestly say that we hated Mildred Pierce. The screenplay fails its high production values, the pacing fails its actors, and the story fails its viewers. Of course, much of this can be blamed on the original novel. HBO’s Mildred Pierce is adapted slavishly close to the novel. Watching it, you get the feeling that that this is a passion project for its writers and producers. As such, they were doggedly faithful to the source material and forgot to give the miniseries a life of its own.

On a personal note (spoilers ahead. Although we’d strongly encourage you not to see it so—continue at your own risk), the ending sucks. Or rather, we’ve seen Mildred struggle for five hours to start her own business, navigate three unworthy lovers, and raise the daughter from hell. Then she just sacrifices it all for that bitchy daughter of hers that we’ve spent the past five hours hoping would die. Mildred Pierce tries to be a harrowing tale about obsessive love that destroys a hardworking mother. Instead, it’s five hours of people being unhappy and not in a particularly interesting way.

And maybe it’s the fault of the novel, but the plot twists were amazingly unbelievable. Sudden deaths by pimple! Vida learns opera in nine months! Divorces overnight! God punishes women for casual sex with moustached strangers! Chicken and waffles sound great together! We’re sure this sort of melodrama worked great for the 1945 film, but we expect more realism from our media today. Or at least an explanation for death by pimple.  

Usually HBO wins when award season rolls around. But this year, we hope that Downton Abbey crushes Mildred Pierce. Just like Midred crushed Vida’s throat. #teammaggiesmith

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3:08 PM

Plays, Plays, and More Plays

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: , , , ,

Sometimes life takes over and a month passes and you realize that you haven’t posted anything on your blog since you saw that Woody Allen film. Elizabeth and I haven’t been living in strange solitude doing nothing but staring at a blank wall, but we’ve actually been doing stuff. Lots of stuff. Which has left little time/energy/drive to actually sit down and write anything here, on Deadly Furniture. But, because the bookmark has been guiltily staring at me for the past week, I thought that it was time to…you know…write. And what better way to make a grand re-entrance then with plays?

Because Elizabeth and I have seen a lot of them lately. It’s perhaps one of my favorite things about New York City. If you aren’t afraid of lines (which we aren’t) or spending your day in them (sometimes

your entire day), you can get relatively cheap tickets to Avenue Q or How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying and then walk home afterwards. To say this is how I’ve been spending most of my limited funds (funemployment for the win) is pretty accurate.

So to say that Elizabeth and I felt pretty lucky that we could actually see a play that everyone in the country was talking about is to put it mildly. The Book of Mormon is a musical that is on the verge of changing everything about Broadway and the plays it produces and Elizabeth and I, New Yorkers, got to see it. And it was incredible.

The Book of Mormon

Ever since I was a child I tried to be the best
So, what happened?
My family and friends all said I was blessed
So, what happened?
It was supposed to be all so exciting to be teaching of Christ 'cross the sea,But, I allowed my faith to be shaken.
Oh, what's the matter with me?

The thing is, plays are harder to write about than television or movies. At least for me. The Book of Mormon is an experience that I can’t describe to you in anything resembling a fair review. Whenever I listen to the soundtrack, I think back of those moments of me standing in the back of the orchestra and hearing “I Believe” for the first time or watching “Turn It Off.” It was a singular and unique three hours of joy and laughter.

The same can be said of my experience in Stratford, Ontario. Elizabeth and I can’t seem to quit the Stratford Shakespeare Festival (we’ve been there eight times) and these past experiences build on each other until we have all these memories of past plays as we watch new ones. We both have our favorite actors (Geraint Wyn Davies and Tom Rooney!) and so we’re almost guaranteed to love whatever they’re in (within reason. I’m not totally blind to bad plays).

It’s easiest to just say that Camelot forced me to perform my best impression of my mother on Easter Sunday...

Camelot

Yes, Camelot, my boy!
Where once it never rained till after sundown,
By eight a.m. the morning fog had flown...
Don't let it be forgot
That once there was a spot
For one brief shining moment that was known
As Camelot.

...And Merry Wives Of Windsor made me really want a buck basket.

And then there’s Jesus Christ Superstar. The original soundtrack doesn’t do justice to the wall of sound that was this rock opera. And it was incredible. At times holy. Tim Rice writes his heart out here and the actors sang out there’s.

Jesus Christ Superstar

I dreamed I met a Galilean
A most amazing man
He had that look
You very rarely find
The haunting hunted kind

I asked him
To say what had happened
How it all began
I asked again
He never said a word
As if he hadn't heard

There. I have written another blogpost, bookmark. Now stop making me feel all guilty. I have plays to go to.

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2:54 PM

Midnight In Paris

Posted by Rebecca | Labels:

In high school, I was forced to read both F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby and Ernest Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms. While I will defend Gatsby and the brilliance of that book to my dying day, I have never been thankful to anyone for introducing me to A Farewell to Arms. Although people keep telling me that Hemingway’s shorter stuff is worth a read and that it will change my mind towards his writing style, I have decided to avoid him and his prose like the plague.

Also, I have a huge Gertrude Stein problem. Sure, I’ll admit that she was at the center of the Lost Generation’s Paris life-style and that she helped brilliant people when they weren't so brilliant, but has anyone actually sat down and read The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas? It’s more than a little pretentious and a lot more than a little boring and it left me with a totally rational dislike for Stein and her writing.

So, imagine my delight, when I quickly realized that the movie I had innocently decided to go see because it involved Michael Sheen actually had not only the awesome Fitzgerald, but also Hemingway and Gertrude as main/pivotal characters. Midnight in Paris, Woody Allen’s latest film (and, by the way, the first Allen film Elizabeth has seen. I know. Shocking.), see’s Gil (Owen Wilson) stumble upon Paris in the 1920s. A writer who wants to be more than a hack, Gil Penderton finds himself among some of (arguably) history’s greatest authors and painters who, as one would expect, teach him more than just how to craft a good story.

As soon as my buddy Fitzgerald (played by Loki) came on screen for the first time, I knew that the film was going to be a keeper. However, perhaps the biggest surprise of the entire movie, is that Hemingway (Corey Stoll) made me fall in love with it. Allen (who both wrote and directed the film) captures Hemingway’s prose and thoughts about love, life, war, and women perfectly. As Hemingway rambles on with long, simple sentences, Wilson’s Gil can only stare on in awe but we, as an audience, find ourselves laughing in academic geek-ery. Kathy Bates’s Stein didn’t heal me of my dislike in quite the same way, although I can at least say that I found Stein tolerable here. The famous cameos continue with glimpses of Picasso, Matisse, Degas, and Dali (played by the extraordinary Adrian Brody who almost manages to steal the show from Sheen, Wilson, and Stoll with just one short scene) .

In the end, the Midnight in Paris plays out as a love letter to the city. At times poetic and always artistic, Allen paints for us a picture of a beautiful city with a glamorous and unique past. He sucks us in and leaves us wishing that we could turn a corner and find a bar containing the likes of Hemingway and Fitzgerald instead of a simple laundromat. There’s nothing terribly complex here, but it does leave you feeling enveloped in a cloud of nostalgic contentment

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4:32 PM

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Unfortunate Tides

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: ,

Before I begin, I should tell you from the start that I’m a fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. I’m sure that what I’m about to say will make it seem otherwise, but really--I like the first three movies a lot. I’m one of the few defenders of World’s End, Elizabeth and Will, and basically everything after Jack Sparrow says, “Now, bring me that horizon” at the end of the first movie. Just so we all have that clear.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is a fantastically boring disaster of a movie that will leave even the most devoted of fans (read: me) considering fleeing the theater rather than sleep through…err….watch the rest of the film. I know. Harsh. But it really is that bad. Twenty minutes in I was wondering how much longer this thing was going to drag on and, although I was pretty sure that there would be an ending scene after the credits, I fled rather than put up with Hans Zimmer for one more second. Let’s start with the new characters. Taking the lead is Penelope Cruz as Angelica who, well, exists solely to be a love interest for Jack Sparrow. She’s the daughter of Blackbeard (Ian McShane) whose pretty evil and, on top of all his evilness, has stolen the Black Pearl. On Blackbeard’s ship is a missionary whose name, IMDB has just informed me, is Philip (Sam Claflin). He eventually falls for a mermaid he names Syrena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) and it‘s all crazy and open-ended. Philip is there because Will is off dealing with dead people and Syrena is there because Elizabeth is waiting for a green flash of light.

The thing about new character/enemies/young attractive people is that they have to be in some way likable/useful. I know a lot of people are down on Will and Elizabeth, but everyone can at least admit this: they had interesting moments and their characters created interesting moments for other characters. Jack’s friendship with the couple made him the person that he is by the time On Stranger Tide comes in. However, this movie’s new characters mainly seem to be part of some bizarre side-show to the main events. Philip and Syrena as people and characters barely affect Jack and Angelica doesn’t bring any of the passion or intensity that Elizabeth and Jack had. Blackbeard, for all his creepy powers, pales in comparison to our good friend Davy Jones. Jack never acts really afraid of him, so why should we?

No, the only moment when the movie shines is when it remembers its roots. An opening sword fighting scene reminiscent of Will and Jack’s first meeting makes you remember better days. There’s also a moment when Geoffrey Rush and Johnny Depp are actually allowed to act. By now, Depp is so comfortable playing Sparrow that it becomes glaringly obvious. He just needs to say :”savvy“ once in a while and we‘re all supposed to call it good. But there’s this moment when Barbossa describes losing the Black Pearl to Blackbeard and you smile--because this is a good moment. This is a moment when two captains share their love for a ship and connect as old mates. This is a moment where we can tell that Rush and Depp are high-caliber actors. But of course that moment passes and we’re back to overly-ridiculous escape plans and over-used gags because our smile even has a chance to fade.

Without the characters, the plot quickly loses control and as the action shifts from setting to setting, from sunny weather to foggy weather, from one character to another, from this bizarre directorial decision to that horrific musical choice, I quickly stopped caring. Because at least two more sequels are already in the works, I was pretty sure Jack was going to make it and I was equally as sure that Jack Davenport wasn’t going to rise from the dead, Orlando Bloom wasn’t going to arrive on his cool new ship, and Elizabeth and her son weren’t going to stop by to say hello. And you know what? I was predictably right.

Will I give the next one a chance? Probably. Remember, I’m a fan. Or I was. Now, however, I’ll have to add a caveat to it. Just like with Indiana Jones. “Well, I’m a fan of the first three.”

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11:56 AM

Next Year's Television: Some Thoughts

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: , , , ,

Last season, Elizabeth and I probably watched one or two new pilots altogether. I don’t know if just nothing sounded very interesting or if we were too invested in old television shows to bother with new ones, but whatever the case I’m pretty sure we watched the pilot of The Event (that turned out well) and then called everything else a bust. (To be fair, we picked up Parks & Recreation which was perhaps the best move we have made in the history of our television watching). This year promises to be different--or at least that’s what the networks have promised me and they have bombarded the internets with clips, enticing spoilers, and previews to make me root for their shows.

Take, for example, Charlies Angels. Because Wonder Woman mercifully failed to get a pick-up by NBC, this ABC show will haunt our commercial breaks until the end of time. ABC really wants us all to remember how popular the original show was and those two movies, and also wants us to know that their version is going to be much better. I’m less than optimistic. With so much emphasis being put on the brand and how hot the main characters are, it seems like scripts and interesting/exciting/unexpected storytelling could become second/third/low priority. Will I watch the pilot? Sure. Why not? Do I expect to be watching much more? Nah.

This season is also the season of “pairs.” NBC and ABC are both putting up fairy-tale shows and period shows and it promises to all end in an epic showdown that the press will make a huge deal of and then we’ll all forget about in a year or two. ABC has Once Upon A Time, the story of what happens when fairy-tale characters have to survive in the real world. NBC has Grimm, the story of a police officer, last name Grimm, who realizes that he’s one of the few people who can see that the world is populated by evil fairy-tale characters. Having seen clips for both of them, and had the entire first episode of Grimm spoiled in the process (thanks NBC), I can’t say that I’m impressed by either. Sure, it may have something to do with the very sub-par special effects that grace the opening of Once Upon A Time, or it may be that Grimm looks sorta boring. However, I’m pretty sure it’s that both of these got picked up, and Ron Moore’s promising magic-themed pilot (with three, THREE Battlestar Galactica veterans) failed to get a pick-up. I mean, how could either of these even hope to compare?

Since it’s been announced that Mad Men is off our screens for what seems like eleven years (WHY!?!?! WHY?!?!?!) NBC and ABC are hoping to capitalize on AMC’s loss by giving us The Playboy Club and Pan Am. They’re both what you would expect from their titles and I can already tell that I’ll watch both of their pilots. That being said, I’m pretty sure only one of these is going to last the season and, because I actually liked the clips of The Playboy Club more than Pan Am, my bets are on Pan Am surviving.

Into the mix of this season’s pilot season then comes the shows that you watch merely for the people that are in them. Michael Emerson’s (of Lost fame) role in CBS’s Person of Interest means that Elizabeth and I will both watch a show that we would never have tuned into anyways, Jason Issacs in the mid-season Awake (he’s a GOOD guy) is going to be great, and Sam Neill and Jorge Garcia in Alcatraz gives us even more reason to watch the sci-fi thriller besides the fact that it’s a sci-fi thriller. And, while we’re talking about sci-fi thrillers, ABC’s mid-season show The River is either going to be great or horrible. Here’s hoping great.

And now, to wrap it all up in a nice and convenient way, a list!

This Year’s Chase: Prime Suspect

This Year’s Obvious Glee Copy-Cat: Smash!

This Year’s Most-Anticipated Mid-Season Show: Awake

This Year’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Ringer

This Year’s Sure-to-Be First Cancellation: Unforgettable (‘cause it’s forgettable. Get it?)

This Year’s O.C: Revenge (now with more Marc Blucas)

This Year’s Rebecca’s Most Anticipated Show: The River

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1:37 PM

Unwelcome Characters

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: , ,

With the plethora of cop/procedural/crime dramas on our television screens, it was only a matter of time before some semi-smart producer realized that there hadn’t been one about U.S Marshals yet. These same semi-smart producers therefore created In Plain Sight, a series that revolves around the life of Mary Shannon (Mary McCormack), a marshal for the Witness Protection Program. As one would expect from such a program, each episode centers on a new, zany witness that needs to be protected/reprimanded/killed or something like that.

The show tries really hard to be different from its half-sisters. For one, it supplants its characters from the usual New York City or Los Angeles gritty, unrealistic city setting and sets it all in New Mexico. It also throws in some family characters that get more screen time then they deserve and, most importantly, creates a female main protagonist that no one in their right mind should be interested in or sympathetic towards. Okay, okay, okay. Maybe that was unfair. But it’s not that far from the truth. In an early episode (I’ll admit to watching five, but that was only out of a curiosity to see if she got any better. She doesn’t.) Mary even admits that her partner Marshall (played by Frederick Weller and the only good part of the entire series) is her one and only friend. Even that friend is looking for another job in order to get away from her (because he, for some unknown reason, likes her. But hey, he’s still trying to get away from her.)

Mary is antagonistic, uninteresting, mean, selfish, inconsistent, uncaring, and a whole lot of other unattractive things, yet we are still supposed to care about what happens to her. This would all be alright if not for the fact that she’s on the screen forty minutes out of every episode. While the interesting Marshall disappears for commercial breaks at a time, our screens are always graced by Mary. Not even a well-rounded character can stay interesting for twenty minutes straight (See M*A*S*H’s “Hawkeye” if you doubt me).

Her family isn’t much better. Although I commend the semi-smart producers for introducing a new element into a tired television style, Mary’s family is more jarring than anything else. Mary’s mother, a drunk who never really got her life together, is there more for the jokes than anything else, and Mary’s sister is there for….for something. Unlike Castle, the family drama never has anything to do with the witness-of-the-week story and so it’s all very disjointed and strange.

USA Network is known for its tagline (“Characters Welcome”) then anything else. For people who want a generally care-free, suspense-less crime procedural, In Plain Sight is a perfect fit. But for anyone who actually wants interesting characters in their television shows, look elsewhere.

Show to Watch: Castle


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1:04 PM

Party Down

Posted by Rebecca | Labels: , , , ,

I’m not one of those people that like straight-out comedy very much. I’m not saying that they don’t have their time and place in my television viewing line-up, but pure comedy shows with no deep, sad undercurrent or broken people quickly become boring for me. I think it’s why I’m having trouble with 30 Rock lately. The show is purely about the one-liners and laughs. The main roles are more caricatures than reality. They can’t be deeply sad or flawed because, let’s all face it, they aren't real people.


No, I’m all about the sad comedies. Arrested Development, for example, has everything a traditional comedy would ask for. But it isn’t all happy all the time. There is something sad about every one of its main cast, something essentially broken, and that’s what keeps me interested in the series as a whole-how comedy and brokenness intersect. I’ve mentioned Community every other post here, but the same principal is why I love the show so much. In the end, all of the study group members are terrifically sad. Their lives are uncontrollable disasters, their relationships are constantly are the rocks, and their futures are anything but bright and hopeful. They aren’t friends because they want to be, they’re friends because they’re holding on to each other for dear life, fearing what would happen if they were ever left on their own.

Enter Party Down. It’s a hybrid of a classic comedy and a Community-like comedy--leaning towards the straight-out stuff. The basic plot follows a bunch of actor/writer hopefuls who all work at a party service as they wait for their big breaks. Each of the twenty episodes is another party and another opportunity for the staff to mess up in some fantastically awful way. With this premise in place, the show piles on the jokes and awkward situations all of which I found passable. Don’t get me wrong, Party Down is a funny show and it has some great comedic actors (Jane Lynch for one) and great guest stars that will make you go "Wait...I know them from something.. However, the laughs aren't what really interested me and what kept me watching the series.

No, that was all the sad parts. Although arguably not as obvious as Community, all of Party Down’s principal cast of characters are really, really sad. Take Henry for instance (played by the spectacular Adam Scott who, not so incidentally, is currently in Parks & Recreation which is quickly becoming my favorite comedy in the world). When Henry got his big break in a series of beer commercials (with the hilarious catch-phrase “Are we having fun yet?”) he thought he was set for life. But he’s not. No one hires him and he’s stuck bartending for a catering service. Then, as soon as he gets the girl (Casey played by Lizzy Caplan) and convinces himself and everyone around him to “don’t stop believing” that their dreams will come true, the girl breaks his heart and he accepts a promotion that will effectively end his actor career, and dreams, forever. I mean--this is sad stuff. And that’s why I love it. The show is essentially about what we should do when it appears that our dreams just aren’t going to come true. It’s frank and honest about it, but in the end completely hopeful.

Party Down doesn’t earn a place in my top favorite shows of all time and I doubt that I’ll watch more than a couple of episodes here or there every again. But it’s fun and at times deep and interesting. And, if nothing else, an opportunity to watch some great comedians act.

Episode to Watch: "Steve Gettenberg’s Birthday"

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