Deadly Furniture

I don’t know what to say about this one folks.

In theory, Jericho and I should get along. I’m all about the dystopias, the scary exploration about what happens after the world-as-we-know-it ends. I love books that explore redefining a new normal and television shows that prove episode after episode the growing pains of a reality. Jericho was a show that was designed with me in mind, and if you compare the figures we should have been an excellent arranged marriage.

Ten minutes into the pilot of Jericho, the title town’s inhabitants’ world is literally rocked when off in the not-to-far distance a mushroom cloud looms. Everything that could possibly go wrong after such an event immediately does so. A school bus hits a crazed deer (yes, you read that right), Jake (our main character and Ioan Gruffudd look-alike) is hit by a distracted driver and gets the predicted concussion, the power goes out and our townsfolk begin to fight over gas to fill their Ford trucks (to be honest, I would have gone for the food first but hey, I’m crazy), highly dangerous prisoners escape from a bus and kill the sheriff, a power struggle at the top promises to affect a future episode, and there’s this mysterious Hawkins guy who knows exactly what to do. By the end of the episode, Ioan Gruffudd look-alike saves the day and everyone finally figures out that all the other big cities in the United States have been attacked as well. All of this leads up to the expected “We are Jericho. We will band together and face the day!” ending speech with the sweeping music and the father-son bonding. End scene.

The fact that this all happens in forty minutes (strangely two-minutes short of the normal drama length) either gives off the idea that CBS wanted more advertising space or that the editors realized what a stereotypical mess the pilot had become and just wanted it to be over already. Because in the end, this is exactly how you would expect a pilot of a post-nuclear television show to go, and therein lies the problem. Jericho is exactly “normal.” This story has been written before, filmed before, heck, I’ve played this video game, and all of these predecessors have been better written and acted.

As the credits rolled over some fake-looking dead crows, I couldn’t help feeling disappointed. We were supposed to be perfect for each other Jericho! You were going to fill the emptiness that Firefly and Battlestar Galactica have left in my heart. I mean, when it looked like you weren’t going to get renewed, fan efforts that rival Firefly’s forced CBS to give in and produce seven more episodes. Tragedy on and off screen?! What more could I ask for?

A little bit of imagination. A little bit of thinking outside the box. Of writing a plot that wasn’t so linear and straightforward, of directing that wasn’t so melodramatic and “the girl is DEAD! DEAD I TELL YOU! Oh what a world,” a little bit of creativity when it came to editing the thing together, an actor or two that could say a line convincingly besides the deaf girl. Without this, it doesn’t matter that I’m a post-apocalypse geek, a science fiction gamer, a perfect match: it’s just not going to work out between us.

Series to Watch: Battlestar Galactica